Acceptance, Forgiveness
by gsr4ever
Summary: One day, she left. Will they ever find each other again?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **The characters aren't mine. I just wish they were.

**Spoilers: Contains spoilers for 8x07**

**Special thanks to Calypso for the beta work and for listening to my ramblings.**

**Part 1: Acceptance**

It was a Sunday the day he met her and it was a Sunday the day she left.

4 months, 23 days, and 8 hours since Sara had kissed him goodbye in the lab and left the letter in his office. Whoever said that "It's better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all" must never have loved anyone the way that Gil Grissom loved Sara Sidle. What they had, _have_ is magic. That once is a lifetime connection between two people that no one else can ever replace. Yet here he was. Alone. Just like he was before he finally let her in. Except this time, it was different. He was different. He no longer was "Gil Grissom, famed entomologist and night-shift supervisor." He was "Gil Grissom, famed entomologist, night-shift supervisor, and man who loved Sara Sidle even more than life itself."

When she left, it was like the light was gone in his life. The job had just become a job in the past two years. It wasn't what drove him anymore. His relationship with Sara was the most important thing to him now. He would have given up everything to go with her. But he knew he couldn't. He had read the letter. As much as he wanted to go after her, he had to do what she asked him to do. She wanted the time to figure things out on her own, and he had to respect that. What choice did he have really? Sure, he could have gone after her, but then what? He didn't want to make things worse. He knew that there was something wrong, and he tried to reach out to her in his own way, but he couldn't help her. He'd never had someone depending on him before and it was frightening. To be so close to someone is something he had never experienced before. At first, he didn't think he had it in him, but she showed him the way. The kidnapping with Natalie only solidified what he already knew to be true: They were a part of each other. Forever. There was no turning back. When she was taken, he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he wouldn't be able to catch his breath without her. He felt like he was holding it the whole time she was missing and he wasn't able to let it go until she was finally found.

But that's when the sadness started. At first, he thought everything was ok. He was just so happy that she was alive. Slowly however, he started to notice a shift in her. There was a sadness that he had long hoped he'd helped go away, but day by day, he could see it re-emerging in Sara. Her eyes just weren't the same. She had moments where everything was, or at least seemed to be, fine. Then there were the other moments. The quiet times where he just listened to her breathe while she slept and saw the pain in her face during her dreams, but he didn't know what he could do to fix it.

He thought about the day he was working on his bee colonization study. That day was one of the best days of his life. He had been thinking about asking Sara to marry him for quite awhile, and if he really admitted it to himself, he'd probably have asked her the first day he met her. Not one to really take part in pomp and circumstance, he was waiting for just the right moment to ask her to be his wife. When he saw the bee on her hand, he knew. He knew that no other woman would ever be able to steal his heart the way she had. His heart was no longer his own, it beat within both of them. And so, he did it. He asked Sara to marry him. And what's even more shocking is that she agreed. That was a great day.

How fast things change. Sitting alone, in his office, staring at the picture of Sara and Hank on his desk, he now knew what he had been missing all those years. Her smile, her eyes, the way she insisted on teasing him by calling him Gilbert. Now, all of it was almost too much to bear. It hurt too much to think of the happier times when he knew they were both hurting now. He didn't blame her for needing to heal herself, but he wished he had been able to be part of the process. Not knowing for sure when she might be coming back and how long she would be gone, he hoped and prayed everyday that today would be the day she came back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **The characters aren't mine. I just wish they were.

**Spoilers: Contains spoilers for 8x07**

**Special thanks to Calypso for the beta work and for listening to my ramblings.**

**Part 2: Forgiveness**

It was a Sunday the day they met and it was a Sunday the day she came back.

The state of Nevada was honoring him with an award for supervisor of the year. His team had the highest solve rate for the year, and their work on the Miniature Killer case had given them a lot of recognition. Although the award was an accomplishment, it didn't feel the same to him without Sara being there. She helped solve those cases, even the one that became her own. He dreaded having to speak at the function, but the whole team was going and they had been trying to reach out to him since Sara left. He could see what they were trying to do, but he just didn't want to be around anyone right now. He liked the quiet, because during those times, he could pretend she was still there. He didn't want their sympathy or their help, it only made things worse. He just wanted to shut everyone out and throw himself into the cases like he used to.

A knock on the door pulled him out of his fantasy. "Gil, do you have your speech prepared?" Catherine asked, leaning on the door frame like Sara used to do when she came to his office.

"Yes, I have something written, don't worry. I'm not going to make a fool out of myself in front of everyone." He said curtly.

"I didn't think you were" she said, "I just know you don't like this type of thing, and I figured if you needed any help I would look over it for you."

"Sorry, thanks Cath. I have it handled. I'll see you tonight." he said. He still had to get his suit from the cleaners and get ready before the dinner. "7 o'clock, I won't forget."

Catherine looked at him for a moment as he looked down to read his speech. "He's so sad" she thought, hoping maybe the dinner would help show him that he still made a difference everyday with what he does.

The ballroom of the hotel was set up similar to the way it was when Ecklie got his award. What a long time it had been since then. As he looked around at the tables, he saw many teams from neighboring departments. His eyes fell on the table with his team. Catherine, Nick, Warrick, Greg, and Brass, who had also decided to take part in the festivities. "There's my team" he thought. Although the most important one of all was noticeably absent. Maybe if he had decided to go to swing like they planned, Sara would have been ok. But at this point, that was irrelevant. She was still gone, and he was still alone.

He walked down the stairs and approached the table. "Hey Griss, we've been looking for you," Warrick said, pushing the chair next to him out so Grissom could sit down. "It shouldn't be too much longer before they start. I think your award is up first." Grissom sat at the table and nursed his glass of whiskey as he watched the people go by. He could see all the intermingling, and thought about what it would have been like if Sara could have come to this. Since everyone knew about their relationship, he could have escorted her on his arm in public, just like he had always wanted to. They could have told the team about their engagement. Their engagement. He wasn't even sure there was an engagement anymore. When Sara had left, she hadn't mentioned it. He almost wished he had dragged her down to the courthouse the day he asked her to marry him and married her right then. At least that way, there would be a more concrete way that they would be tied together.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention. This next award is going to the supervisor who has shown excellence through himself and his team. This lab has an excellent crime rate, and helped to solve the Miniature Killer case. This year's award for supervisor of the year goes to Dr. Gil Grissom."

The team cheered him on as he got up to accept his award. He walked across the stage and was given the crystal award by the announcer. He set it down on the podium and pulled out his speech.

"Thank you very much for this award. I'm accepting this not only on behalf of myself, but for my team as well. They are a very dedicated group of people who remind me everyday why I continue to do this job." Grissom glanced out into the crowd and saw the team beaming with pride. "I would also like to thank one other person who couldn't be at this gathering. Sara Sidle couldn't be with us tonight, but she's just as much a part of the team as the rest of us…" And that's when he saw her. At first, he thought that he was imagining things. He had hoped and prayed for so long that he would look up and see her, and there she was at the back of the ballroom. It was obvious that she was trying to stay out of sight, but when they locked eyes, he knew she realized he had seen her. "Again, thank you again ladies and gentleman for this award." He quickly moved off stage and past the sea of tables.

As he passed the team's table, they were all looking at him in bewilderment for ending his speech so abruptly. "Grissom, where are you going" Nick asked, looking at him questioningly. "Hold this for me" he said as he handed him the award. "I'll be back." Grissom raced through to the back of the ballroom and out the door to the entranceway. He looked all around, but he couldn't find her anywhere. For a moment, he thought maybe he had imagined it all, and that he wanted her there so badly, he saw something that wasn't real. "Sara!" he said, calling her name. "Sara, where are you?!" he exclaimed, getting looks from other guests. He looked in all directions until he saw someone racing hurriedly towards the door. He raced after her and when he almost caught up to her, he said "SARA STOP!!" Finally, the woman turned around. In that second, he thought that maybe it might not be her, and that he made a mistake. But when she turned around, he saw what he hoped for. It was her. Her eyes brimming with tears. He didn't know what to say. They both stood there frozen in time for what seemed like an eternity.

"Grissom, I'm sorry. I know you are probably mad at me, but I heard about the award and I was so proud of you all that I wanted to come back and see you and the guys. I figured if I snuck in the back of the ballroom, you wouldn't see me and I could just watch you and go." Sara said through tears. Grissom just stood there transfixed on the woman before him. A woman he had loved for nine years since the day he first saw her with her hair in a ponytail. The woman standing before him now was different, yet the same. A little older, but something about Sara had changed while she was gone. Her eyes were no longer sad, they were vibrant and hopeful. She looked beautiful in a gold dress with her hair pulled back in curls. A vision, only this time it wasn't a dream.

"Gil, say something please." She said, looking directly into his eyes. But he didn't say anything. Instead, he did the one thing he had been waiting to do everyday since she had been gone. He cradled her face in his hands and kissed her. "I love you" he said as he wiped the tears from her eyes. "I love you more than I have ever loved anyone."

"I love you too Gil." She said smiling the first genuine smile he had seen in a long time. That's when he knew. They were healing. He now had no doubt that whatever they were going to face in the future, they were going to face together. Together. Just the way it was supposed to be.

It was a Sunday the day he met her and it was a Sunday the day Gil Grissom slipped a ring on Sara Sidle's finger.

**A/N: **So this was my first fic. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to review. Thanks!


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